bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary

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Bitching, Idoicy, and shout-outs

I�ve been swamped this past week and a half, so I apologize for the lack of updates, but I�ve had several different major clients in at work, a final exam and a final paper that has needed to be written for next week.

Ugh.

Enough bitching�

..

Actually, let me bitch a weeeeee bit more.

I�m sad.

Yes, sad.

I know.

Concerned reader, �Poor Pimp. This isn�t a side of you that we see very often�. Why, oh why are you sad, dearest Pimp?�

Well, friends, gather around and I�ll tell you�

This is a story of a hopeful little guy, who excitedly comes home from work every day, eagerly looks into the mailbox, and is disappointed daily.

Why are you disappointed by the mailbox, one might ask?

DangerMix.

I�ve been reading, just about daily, about this diarist or that diarist getting their DangerMix and saying, �Golly, that Dangerspouse has sure got me stumped this time. I can�t figure out more than two songs on that disc he sent to me.�

I�ve even had the indignity of having to read people taunt me about it in my own comments section.

Oh, the humanity!!!!

Then there�s poor old Pimp�.

Yeahbut�.

Whatabout�.

Honey, haveyouseen�.?

Inthemail?

No?

Nothing?

Then PimpWife gives me a lil� pat on the back to let me know that SHE still likes me.

At least on payday.

I understand that I made fun of his traffic reporting and may have made a comment or two about him being a Jersey Redneck, living as the old man on the hill. But he responded by calling me a sissy for being a minivan driver, so I thought we were pals.

I even went ahead and started making him a mix CD for his ungodly hour commute that he has, thinking that the DangerMix would be arriving any day and I�d be ready to immediately send him my mix back along with some sort of other trinket of my affection.

Actually, it�s kind of a good thing, because my computer is a royal piece of shit and locked up 7 straight times (I kid you not) while I was trying to burn him a CD. The 7th time involved a flying disc across the room and smashing into nanoparticles of gold CD coating all over my basement and around my bar.

I was like Ralphie waiting for his Little Orphan Annie secret decoder ring, only to find out that it was hocking Ovaltine.

Only, I never even found out that Danger is really sending out his CD�s to promote his new band, that is making background music for new-age pornography.

Think Enya with a whole Lot of Bwah Batta BWOW�..

That�s Hot.

�..

Speaking of the insane time at work lately, we hosted a guy who is the 9th richest person in India. I know a lot of you are thinking, �Oh, what�s that worth? A few slurpees and a rotating hot dog?)

He�s worth $1.5 BILLION dollars. (Put your pinky in your mouth and say it aloud!)

Anyway, we had hosted him and his wife on a previous visit when we really didn�t know much about him personally or his wealth.

My boss picked him up at the airport in his 5 year old Grand Cherokee with all sorts of kids stuff strewn about the back seat. I drove him back to his hotel in the back of my 5- year old Isuzu Rodeo, which feels like you are riding in one of the cars of Space Mountain�. You never know which way you will be herked and jerked next. It is a nightmare.

I came back to work and my boss had done a little research on the guy, only to find out that, if he chose, he could buy our company.

In cash.

Like 50 times.

Literally.

Lesson of the day here, folks?

Do your research BEFORE you pick up your customers!

Idiot! (That�s a genuine Napolean Dynamite �Idiot� for you)

�.

I wanted to send out a few acknowledgements:

TwoBadDogs has been writing some of the funniest stuff on quite a consistent basis recently. Click on over and read her last 10 entries.

NoGoodDaddy has also been tearing it up of late.

Andy has not had a entry where I wasn�t cracking up since he started writing here.

Hooteville has some of the best writing going, when she updates.

Rhi is another great read. Look back at her archives. She needs to lay off making awful circus peanuts into jewelry. That's not right. And it certainly couldn't hurt if she would back away from the Corey Hart records, at least for a few months.

PurpleCigar will always be one of my favorites.

Of course, it really doesn�t need to be said that DangerSpouse is one of the truly talented people writing among us. Even though he is a big meanie, poopie pants for not including me in his little club.

If you are on my favorites and you weren�t mentioned, don�t feel bad. I still love y�all.
���..

I�m starting something new here at Pimpland.

I�m a bit of a music freak, so I�m going to end my entries with a music trivia question by asking you to identify a song by the lyrics. I�m going to ask that you go on the honor system and not look at the Comments page to see if someone got it before you and don�t Google it. That takes away the fun.

You all should know that my �music sweet spot� is between �83 and �95, especially alternative music. Not that I�ll limit my choices in any way.

Here we go:

Harder:
�Mirror in the bathroom, I just can�t stop it
Every Saturday you see me windowshopping
You can take me to a restaurant that�s got glass tables
You can watch yourself while you are eating�

Easier:
�What I�ve got, you�ve got to give it to your Momma
What I�ve got you�ve got to give it to your Poppa
What I�ve got you�ve got to give it to your Daughter
Till you do a little dance and then you drink a little water.�

Name the band(s)

Have a great weekend!

And let�s all hope that I get my DangerMix this weekend�.

2:26 p.m. - 2005-04-15

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