bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary

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Saturday Night B-Day Party

My updates suck. I know this. I�ve been a combination of uber-busy and uninspired in the comedic category. Sorry.

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We had a few people over on Saturday night for some drinks to celebrate the passing of my wife�s most recent birthday.

Happy Birthday, babe. I love you!

Many wobbly-pops and frozen drinks were consumed and many laughs were had.

There is an unfortunate consequence of our getting together. Some of my friends have a little problem with the ass-gas. As a result of this problem, we spent more time with our shirts up over our noses than we would have had we not had our friends over. Just as Nancy McKeon would say, �You take the good. You take the bad. You take them both and there you have�. The ass of life. The ass of life.�

Our one friend, we�ll call him B-For, has got some problem with his lower GI. At one point, there was the usual B-For-a-licious smell. Then, there was an unfamiliar, somewhat more meaty smell in the air�

�There is a second farter�.

We spent a great deal of time debating the second farter and the position of the second farter based upon what everyone had heard and at what point each person smelled the first and second smells. We figured out that the second fart came from somewhere near the glassy bowl. We believe that the reaction of K-For (wife of B-For) indicates that the second farter was behind and to the right of the first farter.

Of course, there are conspiracy theorists who are insisting that there was no second farter. However, the Stink Commission has issued its findings that there were indeed two farters. There will be copious Discovery Channel documentaries talking about this controversy.

It�s always good to get together with our friends. However, it�s really not a good thing to make a mistake in front of each other.

Example: Let�s just say that someone was reading a card while playing a game and said the wrong word for Charades and said Crusades instead. If you say something wrong like this in some groups, maybe it goes uncommented on. In our group of friends, saying Crusades instead of charades will earn you an evening of mocking and jokes about Christians miming as they were forcing people to convert to Christianity. Don�t mess up around this group. I�m telling you.

The topic of Tara Reid�s botched boob job came up, as you knew it would. I can�t be sure, but the words, �Her nipple looks like someone was making pancakes and dripped the batter across the entire pan� may or may not have been uttered by the BigPimp. BigPimp�s wife may or may not have rolled her eyes and said, �I�m just so proud to be Mrs. Pimp.�

I found out the hard way that it is not a good idea to let my friend, B-Mac, to get together with my Brother in Law to be (BILTB) Very Long Entry here about BILTB here. They are both ball-busters to the fifth degree and getting them together to compare notes on the BigPimp is not the best situation for yours truly. My boy, B-Mac was my college roommate, fraternity brother, and Best Man at my wedding. He�s got a buttload of dirt on me, which he was more than willing to unload for BILTB, who doesn�t have a whole lot of dirt, but can bust my stones pretty hard nonetheless. Good Times

I�m OK with this, as long as they keep saying things like Crusades, or having romantic magnets made. (They know who I�m talking about) I�ll be just fine. I love busting balls, especially when I have a forum of the internet as a trump card. They�ve all been warned that they could end up here at any time. Bring it on.

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I bought They Might Be Giants greatest hits. They are such a great, completely original, unique little band of two. You�ve got to respect a band that can incorporate an accordion and pull it off. They rock.

My three most recent CD purchases are They Might be Giants (Dial-A-Song - 20 Years of TMBG), Cake's new CD, Pressure Chief, and Wu Tang Clan (Enter the Wu Tang). On my Christmas list is Keane, William Shatner, and a few Beatles albums. I don't know what this says about me.

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My son loves a show called �The Backyardigans�. In the Halloween episode of the show, they play a game called �Hide and Go Boo.� My son thinks that this show is pretty cool and proceeds to tell us about the new game he has learned, called �Hide and Go Poop�. Of course, this is followed by gut-busting laughter by his parents. Then, we start thinking that we might be finding piles of shit around the house, where he had been hiding. Shudder.

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In other news, I've had my first deleter. Somebody has dropped me from their Buddy List. I don't quite know how to feel about this. Whatever I did wrong, I'm sorry. I promise to try to do more of what made you add me in the first place.

8:02 a.m. - 2004-11-16

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