bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary
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My new love
At 10:13 PM, September 7, 2004 it happened. I officially became XM Radio�s bitch. I was taken from my normal existence and put into the XM basement where I am referred to as the �gimp�.
How did this happen?
Well, I�ll tell ya, boys and girls.
Newcleus.
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Newcleus?
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That�s right. I said Newcleus.
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Ring a bell?
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It�s right there. You almost have it.
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That�s right. Jam on it.
Ja-j-j-j-j-jam on it. Hey Mergatroid. Let�s Go-o-o. let�s go-o-o
Dum dum dum dum
Dumdadadumdum
Dum dum dum dum
Dumdadadumdum
I was driving home from my MBA class (That�s right, I�m a fraud, pretending to be a real MBA, when I�m really just an impostor student!) when an epic 13 minute span of music assaulted me that made me the complete and utter bitch to the satellites beaming musical goodness into my car.
There was some pretty good tunes on the radio and I wasn�t at all unhappy with my listening experience, but then came Newcleus.
It�s time to roll down the windows, drive a little faster and take a mental journey back in time to middle school, when girls wanted nothing to do with me and I wanted nothing more than to have a pair of parachute pants and learn to breakdance.
I still remember vividly being in the ol� white and tights in the basement (my room was in the basement, which is why I think I can relate to the Gimp from Pulp Fiction a little to well, but that�s a different story) cranking up some Newcleus and doing my best robot, popping and doing the floor-hump called the worm on a piece of cardboard. I can�t believe that the chicks weren�t quite literally ripping my door off its� hinges to get of piece of this skinny doofus.
Although Bigpimp was not quite working his pimp-hand so strongly back then, these were good times.
Michael Jackson was Beating It before we knew what he was really singing about.
Breakin, the Movie, was all the rage.
We had more zippers on our clothes than we knew what to do with.
Bill Cosby was funny without being all preachy.
We all wondered if they knew that it was Christmas time at all.
However, I don�t think any song during that year had quite the effect of our robot-voice-laden diatribe put forth by our boys from Newcleus. You can tell that they had it going on by looking at this picture�.
After the Newcleus song, I immediately found some more recent fare:
The Flaming Lips: �Do You Realize?�, which is an exceptional song.
Modest Mouse: �Float On�, which makes me quite happy, especially when played very loudly.
XM then took a step back in time with the Smiths and �How Soon is Now�, which is an outstanding song, although probably a bit overplayed as far as Smiths songs go.
THEN�
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Brace yourselves
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PAUL �Friggin-A� LEKAKIS.
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The legend
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You may know him a bit better by his lyric�
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Hey baby I'd like to talk to you
How about coming back to my room for a little boom boom?
I really can�t speak for the female population, but I don�t think I�m going out on much of a limb by saying that there were some fine ladies getting quite hot and bothered when they heard the beginning of Lord Lekakis� anthem for one night stands, �Boom Boom Boom�.
I know that I was hot and bothered by those lyrics and that voice.
Still am.
But not as much as when I saw THIS�..
Woobah! How did this not make it onto Pork�s Album List? If this guy is not Rico Suave�s big brother or gay cousin, I don�t know who is.
Heaven, to me, is a place where Gerardo and Paul Lekakis sing me to sleep with their beautiful duet about love and tenderness, called, �I Want to Boom Your Rico Taint All Around This Here Rainbow.�
Catchy, no?
The point of this drawn out tale is that XM kicks ass with lots of old songs and no commercials. It has quite a littany of old alternative music that I love, such as Public Image Limited, Wonder Stuff, etc. The XM programmers need to do a better job with the rap and hip-hop, but they are doing OK. Maybe they'll get better.
Then, there are three channels with purely comedy... Mostly clips from different comedians' stand up routines. And there is no bleeping here folks. You get the straight scoop. It can be great stuff.
The last thing I just noticed today on XM's website was that there is a premium channel (not the premium channel with Opie and Anthony, starting on October 4th.) that is available for $2.99 per month.
What is this channel that could be worth $2.99 per month? The Playboy Radio Network! You can check it out for yourself...
As if switching channels to find other songs wasn't bad enough, the good folks at XM think it's a good idea to give every dope with their service the option of getting all sorts of jacked up and randy in their cars on their way home from work! Great idea!
Now, the next time I see someone swerving in their car, I have the image of Bob from accounting listening to Bambi the Playboy DJ while he unzips his fly to free Willy and break him off a lil' sumpin' sumpin' on his way home. Wonderful.
3:20 p.m. - 2004-09-08
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