bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary
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Dog_Shit
The other morning, I walked down the stairs, whistling happily and working off the ol� morning wood.
I turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs and was greeted with a nice little trail of dog shit.
Now, I have two dogs. One is about 14 pounds and the other is 35 pounds. The size of what is dropped from their respective escape hatches varies pretty significantly from one dog to another.
There is really no mistaking one dog�s deuce from the other�s
In other words, I know my dog�s shit.
And it was Phoebe�s shit on that rug that morning.
Bitch.
Bailey got off the hook.
She�s a bitch too, though.
Once I got over my absolute anger over the discovery that one of my dogs had decided to use my Living Room rug as a toilet, I started thinking�
What if Bailey learned how to shit in tiny little balls to pass it off as Phoebe�s shit? Could there possibly be a jump in evolution allowing Bailey to drop a deuce on my rug and laugh it up as Phoebe gets her ass kicked to hell and back for her crime?
I mean, how great of a trick would that be for a dog?
You would really almost never have to hold it in anymore. You could just go ahead and leave little piles of smelly love all around the house and just watch as someone else gets their ass kicked for your sins.
If Phoebe ever stole a toy or a treat from Bailey�. Bailey could just leave a Phoebe-sized pile of shit on our pillow and know that Phoebe would be getting beaten within an inch of her life for it.
Unfortunately for Phoebe, I don�t think she could ever really do the reverse to Bailey without completely leaving her ass a complete wreck for the rest of her life.
If you haven�t noticed by the hackjob that is my template, I�m trying out some stuff with a html. I�m a confessed html-tard, so you may have to bear with me through some technical difficulties.
(NOTE: PAGE WAS EDITED - By the way, I asked for some html help which arrived quickly and I made some changes already, so if you click to the comments and see some responses that don't make sense, rest assured that your fellow readers aren't completely insane.)
8:44 a.m. - 2005-10-07
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