bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary

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Unemployment ain't so bad

Soooooo��

Hi.

I�m back.

I�d like to thank everyone for all of their concerned e-mails and notes, wondering if I�m OK. You guys are really too kind.

Oh wait.

Those e-mails and notes must have been sent to somebody else.

Because the alternative would be that you bastards didn�t miss me at all.

And we all know that couldn�t possibly be true.

����

I guess I owe some sort of explanation of where I�ve been.

Well, I�ve been unemployed, if you must know.

That�s right.

Unemployed. As in living off the man, collecting unemployment checks and living the unemployed lifestyle.

You know what I�m talking about�..

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Car parked on the lawn. (With the requisite Dale Earnhardt paraphernalia affixed to it)

Couch dragged on the lawn for laying on with no shirt and drinking beer straight out of the keg, occasionally beating on the dogs and kids when I got bored.

And of course, we had to have the random, shirtless fat guy hanging around too. Just a tip for all those who may have never been unemployed� You NEED to have shirtless fat guy to pound beers with and cheer me on as I smack the wife around for not getting my beer quickly enough.

You all know how it is.

�������..

Now, before everyone goes crazy and starts a campaign to the �Save Pimp�, don�t worry too much. I�m back at work and gainfully employed by the man again. This was a three week company-wide shutdown that we knew about for about 8 months, so it wasn�t really unexpected or un-planned for.

So, you are probably breathing a sigh of relief with the knowledge that the guy that you didn�t write an e-mail to or leave a comment or note for to find out if he was, indeed, not dead. I can feel the drop in stress levels all across the country now that you know your favorite diarist is not in a ditch on the side of the Jersey Turnpike.

Now that you�ve had your moment of relief, you�re probably asking yourself: �Self�. I�ve been thinking�. Since Pimp was actually not working for three weeks, wouldn�t he have more time on his hands to update his crappy diary once or twice?�

I have an answer for that.

�Ummm� FU, you selfish bastards.�

Since I meant so little to all of you to not even elicit a single note of concern for my well being, I decided to put the following tasks before providing you with an entertaining update:
Standing around, staring into space, scratching my balls body.
Laying on the couch eating pork rinds.
Helping to shave my new friend�s back.
Get a Dale Earnhardt tattoo
Take up a good crack habit.

Alright, maybe I didn�t do that stuff.

Well, maybe not the pork rinds�.

I actually spent a lot more time hanging out with the kids and keeping them out of my poor, pregnant wife�s hair, since she hasn�t exactly been feeling too great with this pregnancy.

So, we spent a good deal of time at the pool club that we belong to, where hung around and harassed my wife�s friends. Those lucky ladies got a peek into the misery that is my wife�s life.

The pool club is absolute mega-fun, if you must know. We were able to play some games of:

�Boobs: Fake or real?�

�Is she the Nanny or the Mommy?�

�Do you think she is an original wife or a trade in?�

As you can probably tell, these are games the whole family can enjoy.

��

Being away from work for three weeks straight hasn�t been something I�ve done for almost 20 years. It was probably one of the best things I�ve done. Being able to spend that time with my kids was really awesome.

Playing in the pool with them.

Chasing them around the house as �Daddy Monster�

Going to the beach with them.

Having my daughter follow me around as �my buddy�.

You don�t get days like that at work and if I had to be unemployed for a few weeks to get them, I think I�m better off as a result.

These are the times that your best memories are made of:

Going to the beach:

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Every young boy needs a good hole to play in. Actually, I don�t think that ever ends.

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OK boys � Keep the comments on the up and up. She is 1 � years old for the love of Pete.

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And here is my Little Diva on the beach, looking quite fab, if I do say so myself.

Days at the beach are awesome.

I�m going to wrap this up so I can at least get some sort of update out. I�ve got more tales of the unemployed for you, which I�ll relay at another time (hopefully sooner than later).

��.

I�m also considering a move from Diaryland�. BUT, I need to have somewhere that will host my Photoshopping awesomeness and other pictures flawlessly, without a whole lot of complaining. I also tend to write long entries, so I�m not sure how the format of Blogger/Blogspot would work for me. I definitely need to have comments (which I gather I can get from Haloscan, if I wasn�t so lazy/html-tarded).

Oh yeah�. and everything needs to be free. I mean, I�m recently unemployed, for the love of Stu�. Let me know if there is such a place out there. I know a few of my D-Land friends have set up shop at Blogspot/Blogger, Diary-X, and even their own domains, but I�d like to hear from other people about their experiences with other Blogging sites. I need something free and extremely easy. If I have to do more work than I do at D-Land, you�ll probably get even fewer updates than you get now. (Which some of you think would probably not be such a bad thing�.)

��

Never mind if there is nothing below�. I�m trying out an image-hosting solution.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

2:22 p.m. - 2005-08-25

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