bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My poor kids My newborn baby girl yells at me a whole lot. That seems to happen a lot when they are 3 weeks old. In about 15 years, (I hope it is at least that long) I�ll be wishing she was only yelling at me like she does now instead of how she'll be yelling at me as a teenager. I cringe when I think about the things that will come out of her mouth then: �You never let me do anything!� �Get out of my room!� �I hate you!� �Can�t you just be a normal Dad?� Can�t say that I�m not prepared. I�ve got all my typical Dad-isms lined up� �Because I told you so� �My house/ My rules� �I think you need a little sweater over that, don�t you?� �and the rest of the typical Dad crap. I can�t wait to be the Dad that absolutely tortures my kids. When they are asking to be dropped off a block away from where they are going so nobody sees them with their Dad, that is when I�ll be pulling up right in front of their friends in my 1980 Chevy station wagon with the wood siding. I don�t actually own this car and I don�t actually intend on driving it anywhere else except when I am dropping off my teenage kids. I think a horn that sounds like the General Lee from Dukes of Hazard may also be apropos. Blasting �Mandy� by Barry Manilow at full volume is a no-brainer when picking them up. God bless my daughter�s boyfriends. They better be able to laugh or they are in for some serious shit. I think I want to be the guy on the block that the really young kids call �Old Man Burger down the block�. That would be funny. I�m already yelling at people that drive too fast in front of my house. I�m a step away from yelling at kids to �Stay off my lawn� and calling them �Rascals� or �Varmints�. I talk to my wife about these things. She rolls her eyes and mutters things under her breath. I know better than to ask her what she is muttering about, so you'll have to guess for yourself. Pity my children. They know not what they are in for. 1:42 p.m. - 2004-06-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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