bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary

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Depeche Mode... What the?

I�ve been in a bit of a nostalgic mood recently. I think that reading all of the single people�s diaries has me pining on some level for times as a single person. So, I�ve been doing the only thing I can do (since I�m very happy in my marriage and I�m not about to become single anytime soon). I�ve dug up my old albums and started listening to them. OK you young Diarylanders� don�t make too much fun of me for still calling it an album.

However, I seem to have skipped over the times when I was single and in college, when some females (mostly those just released into society in a work-study program run by the local mental ward) actually seemed to care that I existed. I went straight back to the very dangerous world of late-80�s high school music.

It started yesterday with some old New Order. I realized that their Substance (disk 1) album still holds up relatively well. I only felt like somewhat of a tool singing along to Bizarre Love Triangle with the windows down at the top of my lungs. Some of the women in my age group actually recognized the song and did some minor head-bobbing and lip-synching. However, some of the younger lads and lassies were all like, �What the hell with all of the synthesizer crap?� and I was all like, �It�s a mid-life crisis balding guy thing. You certainly wouldn�t understand. The synthesizer was the tool of my generation�s revolution� Maybe if New Order had a number in their name, like Blink 183123 or Sum1043821, the young bucs would have thought that NewOrder2831 was cool. OK, so the bands with number thing is stolen straight from Porktornado�s column a few weeks ago, but something I had been thinking about way before he so eloquently put it into words.

Anyway, my nostalgia took a turn for the worse this morning as I was driving in to work. I was listening to my old Depeche Mode albums. Dear God, those certainly were some gay fellows. I really must have had my head up my butt in high school to not realize that the music I was listening to was dripping with references to non-straight activity. I�m not going into details, but the words �Slave�, �Feel�, �Touch�, �Skin�, �Ecstacy� made quite a few too many appearances for my sphincter to feel comfortable with. I mean, I actually went to see these guys in concert. Twice! I�m beginning to think that the uncomfortable groping that I got at the urinal may not have been an accident because he was pushed into me by the crowd. Things that make you go� . Alright that�s enough of that bad 80�s flashback, Arsenio.

Seriously, though. How could I have been so blind to not see that all the leather-clad men at the concert weren�t just cool biker guys? I really should have been listening to the lyrics a little more closely and not throwing on the proverbial blinders to the fact that my boys of Depeche were really singing about hairy man-love. I�m lucky to have made it out of Giants Stadium with my back-door virginity in-tact.

And, by the way, I won't even listen to anyone's suggestions that I'm a homophobe. I wont justify it by saying things like, �I�ve got gay friends� or whatever. If you knew me, you'd know. It�s just funny to look back to see how I didn�t realize how much the Depeche Mode music/ crowd was gay.

And I also used to think that Elton�s sunglasses and clothes were just a little strange, but nothing was different otherwise. It wasn�t until Freddy Mercury died of aids that I realized that the band name for Queen had a duplicitous meaning. I am absolutely clueless.

By the way� As Juddhole (I don�t know html, so I can�t put the link in) reminded me yesterday, singing anything in Scooby voice is high comedy. The lyrics of Depeche and New Order are no exception.

8:28 a.m. - 2004-07-02

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