bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Letters to the editor I was on another PimpinTrip for bidness. This was for a High-Temperature Polymers conference, which was held in Clear Point, Alabama. I had assumed that I�d see a lot more greased pigs than I did, but I have to tell you that the Mobile Bay is BEEE-YOU-TEE-FUL. The group of people at this conference are some of the smartest people you will ever meet and are driving the effort to replace metal that is used in aircraft and other applications with polymers. You wouldn�t think that a group of engineers and scientists would be so committed to getting blasted on a nightly basis only to get up and present and listen to technical presentations early the next morning. These people are hard-core. I decided to take the opportunity to catch up on some correspondence, which I�m posting below: (By the way, did anyone else laugh about the phrase, �Catching up with some correspondence�? Who even says that?) Dear Beer, Why do you have to taste so good, but I now find myself in the airport restroom with a headache, unloading your after affects? Maybe we could work on either not tasting so good or, better yet, we could kind of skip the residual feeling you always leave me with. Either way, thanks for a great time out with my customers, up until the point of returning to my hotel room and turning me into a Tracy-Gold bulimic. �� Dear Clear Point, Alabama, Thanks for being so awesome. I will never make banjo sounds of say, �squeal like a pig� when referring to Alabama again. Forget what I just said. YEEEE HAAH!!!! Welcome to Al-A-Bama. Gonna make you squeal like a pig, boy. Sorry. I can�t help myself. Thanks for being so awesome anyway. ��.. Dear housekeeping lady at the hotel, Sorry about the remants in the bathroom from my previously mentioned Tracy Gold escapade. You need to talk to Mr. Beer and my customer and I�ll try not to bother you with that again. ��.. Dear Greasy food, Thank you for befriending me and comforting me after Mr. Beer treated me like Private Pyle. Two McDonald�s Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a bagel meals is wonderful for my hangover. ��.. Dear Liver, Sorry about the last three days. No, we are not back in college and I promise that things will be much better when we get back home. Please take your name off of the transplant waiting list. Dear person in the room next door to me at the Hotel, Please consider turning the volume on your TV down when you are watching hotel porn at midnight. The connecting doors between our rooms aren�t so good at reducing sound. And your moaning didn�t help your cause so much. I hope it was a really good porno, you moaning naughty boy. ��.. Dear Airplane Turbulence as I'm writing this, Could we do this another time? Again, please refer to the Tracy Gold reference. You�re really not helping. ........
William Shatner�s �Has Been� and Al Green�s Greatest Hits. Who knew that Shatner could be so damn funny? We knew about the weird, but the funny is awesome. Al Green�s Greatest Hits should be owned by everyone in the universe. Since I was away on Valentine�s Day, I sent my wife some flowers, in addition to the Jaguar and summer home in the Hamptons that I gave her before I left. I didn�t get her just any flowers� I sent her favorites� Daisies. In a basket. Like a centerpiece from a wedding. Which my wife made sure to make fun of me about. And rightly so. I�m glad she can laugh about it, but I�m pretty sure I�ll be hearing about the Year of the Basket for quite a few years to come. I would expect nothing less. Hi again. 6:37 p.m. - 2005-02-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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