bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary

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Emperor Bigpimp

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been really busy working with a representative of the ex-supreme emperor of the Ivory Coast, who was killed in an accident involving internet Viagra, a five dollar hooker and some crack cocaine.

Tell me that this doesn't sound like a really sweet deal. All I have to do is give up my bank account routing number, social security number, shoe size and tell them my favorite brand of underwear. In return, they will transfer 17.832 billion Zimbabwean Dollars into my checking account, give me four goats, the title to a diamond mine and thirteen virgins.

Sounds pretty cool, huh? What's the catch? Well... after one year, I've got to give them back 16 Billion Liberian dollars, four of the virgins (slightly used), one goat (also slightly used) and some of my diamonds (little do they know that I'm going to send them CZ from the HSN, but I'll throw in that cheap-ware whoring Suzanne Sommers in at no extra cost.)

I'm not exactly sure how they found my e-mail address, but I find that with a deal this awesome, I'd better just keep my mouth shut and give them what they ask for or else they might not throw in the goats.

Once I become extra supreme awesome emperor of Equatorial Guinea, I may allow all of you to visit me and I may even pay for your Diaryland Superextraawesomelycool Platinum subscriptions.

If you're nice to me.

Or leave me funny comments...

10:40 a.m. - 2004-09-14

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