bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary

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Baby Girl's Birthday bash

Work + school + superdad + homeownership = awful updating. Sorry.

This past Memorial Day weekend was a bittersweet one. I�ll go into the sweet now and the bitter later�

This weekend kicked ass because we had my daughter�s first birthday party. That little girl is as difficult as they come, but is such a cute little sweetheart and has brought so much happiness and joy into our families� lives. She truly is a blessing.

Well, we thought long and hard about the party that we were to have at our party and we decided that we could invite no less than 85 people to my baby girl�s party. My wife, being kick-ass as she is, came up with the idea of a Luau theme to the party.

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That�s my beautiful little hula girl. Please keep your comments about her on the up and up, boys.

Luckily, only 75 people showed up.

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That�s right. It�s a white picket fence installed by yours truly. We are so friggin cute, I can�t even stand it.

Since it was a Luau party, it was an instant excuse to subject all of my friends to my Jimmy Buffett collection of music, which was nice. It was also an excuse for everyone to whip out their most awful flowered shirts. And I�d like to point out to Andy that NoGoodDaddy is right. You don�t tuck in a Hawaiian shirt.

Anyway, the party was great, with my wife having a slew of games and crafts for the kids. (Reason number 588 why Mrs. Pimp is such a great wife and mom.) There was some sort of fishing game where the kids won Swedish Fish. There were a few other games and then there was the craft.

She had been saving our baby food jars for weeks now and peeling off the labels so the kids could use the jars for sand art. Pretty cool, huh? Well, she didn�t use sand. She used giant Pixy Stix for the sand. So, it was decorative AND a sugar-filled delight.

Well, we cut too many Pixy Stix open and we had a bunch of unused Stix. To our surprise, just about every parent at the party stepped up and took care of the extras. All you saw for about 15 minutes was a random parent in the party kicking a giant Pixy Stick back so we would not be outdone in the powdered crack department by our kids�

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That�s right, Ron. You�re caught downing a Pixie Stick.

And then, we found out that the giant, empty straws doubled nicely as kick-ass Light Sabers.

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Use the force, Zach.

Well, we got to eat some cake, which is reason number 372 why Mrs. Pimp is the greatest. Take a look at that cake. She made that herself. She rules.

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Baby Girl has discovered that she loves her some cake

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No. She REALLY liked her some cake.

Which landed her here:

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Again, boys, let�s keep the comments on the up and up, please.

***As a side note (and an update to the original entry)***

About 3 hours after the party, we got to see what the real present was from the festivities.

By the smell of things, I knew that my lil� girl needed a changing of the diaper. You know what happens to your pee after you eat a lot of asparagus? Well, we had a similar experience with the blue icing.

When I opened that diaper to peek inside, I was a bit disturbed to see what appeared to be a hunk of bright greenish-blue PlayDoh in there. The source of the color was confirmed a few hours later when Lil� Pimp dropped a deuce in the potty. (Yes, we seem to have done it WarcryGirl Thanks for the offer of the video, anyway!) You guessed it. Bright Blue. Awesome.

***END OF UPDATED ENTRY****

Just to show how blessed we really are to have such great family and friends, here is a picture of the aftermath of the present-opening:

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Needless to say, we are going to have to build an addition to the house to find space for all of this stuff

I hope you had a happy birthday, Baby Girl. We love you so much!

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That�s my two beautiful girls!

Something strange about the party was seeing my friends Jeff and Trisha. Trisha has been reading this pitiful excuse for comedy/literature for a while and is my apparently a secret stalker of mine. (Hi Trisha!) It was weird because I started talking about my neighbor�s psycho dog. Before I could even tell her what the dog�s name was, she was like, �Oh you mean Miss Pitty Patt.� And I�m just standing there wondering how she knew that�. It was just a weird feeling to have someone there who knew stuff about me that I hadn�t told her directly. Kind of like Costanza with �Worlds are colliding!�

As for the bitter part of the weekend, my sister and her fianc� broke up earlier in the week, so she was, understandably sad. This was a guy who I immediately clicked with. We both enjoyed busting balls and making each other laugh at all costs. I�ve never had that with any of my sister�s boyfriends until now.

After finding a few things out about what was going on behind the scenes of their relationship, I�m not quite so crazy about him anymore.

So, we suggested that my sister hang out with us that night instead of being alone. She thought that was a good idea and did just that.

Well, if there is something that may show how much I love my sister, this is it.

My wife and sister went out to the video rental store to bring something back to watch and they came back with�..

�.

�.

�.

Bridget Friggin Jones� Friggin Diary Friggin 2

And I watched every Friggin minute of that awful movie. Of course, I was not really able to stop myself from being the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guy, but I did hold back somewhat to not make it too bad for my sister and wife, who were actually watching that worthless piece of crap.

Just know how much I love you and want you to feel better, little sis. You are such an awesome, funny person and I know you�ll bounce back from this. I�m here for you whenever you need me.

�������..

I�m feeling pretty good about myself lately. I have apparently become a popular enough diarist that my comments section is becoming victimized by spammers! Go me!

I went to my e-mail account and saw that I had a bunch of comments on my diary!!! (Oooooooooooh!!! Could they be NEW READERS commenting for the very first time?!?!?) I was all sorts of atwitter with excitement!

Then, I was terribly disappointed to see that it wasn�t any of you good people leaving me a comment. I open up the first e-mail and find out it is from Racepoint funding. With a whole buttload of hotlinks in really big letters. Very classy. They might as well hire the guys from the car commercials, or better yet, Crazy Eddie (I think only people in the northeast know about Crazy Eddie� His prices are INSANE!) And then about seven more of the same ad in different comment sections.

I wonder what kind of clickthrough they are getting from my site. I mean, I whore myself out on other people�s comment sections, in hope that someone will find me witty enough to click on over to my journal and make me a favorite, but they�re not even trying to be charming!

����..

Did anyone else watch the Muppets Wizard of Oz a few weeks ago? My son has been loving the original Wizard of Oz and also loves the Muppets take Manhattan, so when we saw that they were doing a Muppets Wizard of Oz, this was obviously must-see TV and was taped. We let my son stay up late to watch it, shut off the lights and made popcorn for him.

He LOVED it.

But I don�t think as much as I did.

The Muppets are classic at sticking somewhat edgy and inappropriate comments in that will fly well over the kids� heads. It cracks me up.

And they introduced me to a new muppet as Toto. You may figure that the part of Toto might be played by Rolf, since he is a dog and all.

Nope. The part of Toto will be played this evening by Pepe the Prawn.

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This guy is absolutely hysterical. He spoke in a bad Spanish accent and ended most of his sentences with �OKAY?�. I know it doesn�t sound so funny when it is written, but believe me, it is HIGH comedy. My wife and I have been talking like Pepe ever since the show aired.

If you enjoy the Muppets and have kids, give it a look. You can buy it on Muppets.com if you feel so inclined.

�����.

Well, sorry for the semi-lame update, but you got one, didn�t you?

Have a great weekend.

-Senor BigPimp, okay?

11:26 a.m. - 2005-06-03

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