bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary
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Random crap
My updates admittedly suck. I�m going to bitch, so get over it.
In addition to my normal job as superchemicalsalesguy, my uber-dadness to my kids and my daily 2 hours worth of commuting, I�ve got 6 credits worth of MBA classes. Normally, that�s not much of a problem, but three of those credits are for what is called Interfunctional Consulting, where Rutgers University gets paid by a commercial client to have consulting performed for them. So, they basically whore out their MBA students, who are also paying Rutgers for the privilege of being treated like crap by the client. It�s a lot of crap to deal with. Believe me. Not fun.
Rant done.
This entry is just a bunch of crap thrown together, instead of my normal, always coherent (did I just say coherent? Do I even read my own crap?), entry. That�s what you get when my stress level is where it has been.
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From another diary.
39.) I am intelligent!
40.) I love my family
41.) I never done drugs
Did anyone else find number 39 and number 41 to be a bit of a contrast?
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Can we agree that this is not a good start to a Weight Watchers diet?
Unless by Weight Watchers, I mean, �Watch how much Weight I can gain in one sitting.� Notice the Costanza wallet in the background. I get so much crap for that wallet.
My wife and I are going back on the Weight Watchers. That program works like a charm when you stick to it. We both needed to go on a diet after we OD�d on Ice Cream and other crap after my son was born. We each lost about 37 pounds. With my daughter�s birth, we didn�t gain nearly that much back, but we are slipping a bit, so we�re going back on the diet.
With Weight Watchers, they give you a target weight for you to try to get down to and then they give you little stars or some crap. (My wife goes to the meetings while I sponge off her positive vibes when she comes home.) I kept telling my wife that I needed to get UP to my target weight of 212 before I could go back on the Weight Watchers. Mission accomplished.
Honestly, I don�t think a little star with a number 5 on it would be motivation enough for me to continue losing weight. I�m thinking the reward should be something like Go-cart rides. I�d be pretty motivated to lose weight if I knew that I�d be able to ride the Go-cart for doing so. I love me some Go-carts.It�s not good to start a diet with ice cream in the house, so we just had to get rid of the rest of the ice cream we had. The syrup is a nice touch as an FU to Weight Watchers for at least another day, don�t ya think?
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Scene: Middle of the night and very silent at the Pimp household.
Suddenly, the silence is broken by the cry of a small boy, �MOMMY, MOMMY!�
Mommy goes running into the room to hear the protagonist tell her, �Mommy, I need to go to sleep.� Classic.
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If any of you parents out there have children, you probably have, or know somebody who has Baby Einstein videos/ DVDs etc. In these videos, there is one obvious star. The dragon puppet.
One of our friends gave us the dragon puppet for a gift for the baby. Although she thinks it is pretty cool, my son LOVES him some dragon.
I guess it doesn�t hurt that his Dad is always willing to put it on, make stupid voices and act like an idiot.
It�s just funny to hear my little man walking around the house talking to the puppet on my hand, saying, �Mr. Dragon, where are you?� and �Thank you Mr. Dragon, Sir!�
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I work in a cubicle environment. I don�t really mind it too much except for a few inconveniences�
One example�
There is certainly nobody else to blame for, say�� oh, I don�t know�. that awful smell when someone walks into my cube to ask me something after I�ve just ripped a healthy fart.
THAT�S always a comfortable situation to be in. They know who did it. I know I did it. I�m pinned in and I�m sure most people doesn�t want to run away gagging to embarrass me. They�re good people like that.
My coworkers are so lucky to have me gracing them with my presence on an almost daily basis.
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Since I know you all love reading about how I love my yardwork. so much, I feel that I should tell you about my big, manly equipment.
I was going to write some awful, innuendo-filled diatribe about my equipment, but I think I�ll let my tool speak for itself.
Behold, my new pride and joy�. The PIMPTRIM2000.
Notice the cool sack.
Here is a comparison to my old mower, the PIMPSLAPPED95. If you look closely, you can see that this mower had, indeed, been slapped quite a few times.
You can almost see the heavenly glow to my new purchase. The divine beings were certainly pleased with my choice in equipment. It wasn�t as pimped out as I would have liked, but it has the biggest engine available by law. 7 Horsepower of grass-kickin� power. It rocks quite considerably, if you must know.
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I�ve been taking my son to swimming classes at the �Y� on Saturday mornings. As everyone knows, the cool people refer to the YMCA as the �Y�. Anyway, my wife encouraged me to do this and I happily agreed, especially when I figured that there would probably be all sorts of hot MILFs there wearing thong bikinis and who can�t wait to show off their new boobs that their husband bought for them.
Sometimes, reality is a hard, hard slap in the face.
No MILFs. No bikinis.
I�m certainly not going to say that the moms in the group are heinous or anything, but they certainly aren�t living up to my Baywatch fantasy. I definitely did not anticipate that the bustiest member of the group would be little Brian�s hairy-backed dad. Ooooffff.
Full frontal lobotomy, party of one, please.
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Although I enjoy a yard sale, whenever my wife and I pass a yard sale together, we always say, �Wanna buy some crap?�
This past weekend, we were in rural New Jersey (Sussex, for anybody who cares) when we passed a house with a sign on the lawn that read�..
Crap Sale.
I think I peed a little bit laughing at that sign.
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Have a great weekend.
1:03 p.m. - 2004-10-01
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