bigpimpinmba's Diaryland Diary
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I'm a wife beater
I am a wife beater.
The other night, I must have been a bit out of it when I was going to bed. I set the alarm as usual and went to sleep sometime around 11:00. Next thing I know, the alarm is going off. Apparently my first instinct was to slap my wife in the face.
Then, she didn't stop beeping. So I slapped her again.
Needless to say, my wife was none too pleased with my actions. Either time. Then I shut off the alarm and went back to sleep.
I had apparently made an error when I set my new-fangled alarm clock. It is one of those very fancy clocks with two alarms on it. I normally use Alarm 1, while Alarm 2 has never been set and remains at 12:00 AM. I must have put the alarm setting to BOTH instead of Alarm 1 only. So, in my confused state of being woken up so shortly after falling fast asleep, I woke up and slapped my wife. I mean, who wouldn�t. That�s what she is there for.
I don�t remember much of this happening until my wife relayed the story the next morning. Of course, this caused me to just about pee myself while laughing.
Upon hearing the news that I an am awesome wife beater, I immediately mailed in my application for my NASCAR ultimate fan wife-beater t-shirt. I relayed the preceding story and included the following pictures of my son and daughter as proof of my family�s trashy-ness and why we should be fast-tracked to �Wife with two black eyes for not getting me a beer when I told her to� status, surpassing �Shooting Gun in the air for no apparent reason� status.
Christopher is white-trash stylin in his boots and onesie while Ol' Blue is looking on. Our double-wide looks really big in this picture.
Katie drinkin� like a cheap redneck with our dog Blue (AKA Phoebe)
To our surprise, we were bumped up to, �Domestic battery charges filed � TV Show COPS is on its way� status. Do we totally kick ass or what? My wife-beater with a �#3 Lives� slogan is on its way! Yeeeeeehah.
5:21 p.m. - 2004-07-21
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